july 21st

so the past week or so i've had issues with my bank account and some online company took a bunch of money out of my account, and my mom oh so kindly put money in it to make it balanced.
but the other day i was puking EVERYWHERE she wouldn't give me 20 bucks to go to the doctor. she said that it was in her car and she was home but when i left to go get money from my dad she wasnt there..... so i got money from my dad and wen to the doctor. when i went, they said i had appendicitis which really, it was just horrible food poisoning. they gave me a bunch of fluids and now im all better. :D

it was weird though, my mom made me drive to the doctors by myself, as i was EXTREMELY ill. and didn't really care too much about me being as sick as i was until i told her they wanted me to go to the ER ASAP. then when we got to the hospital thats when she started acting like she cared.

the night before i got sick, colton came over. while he was in the driveway in moms car he texted me and asked me if i'd take him to blockbuster cause mom wouldn't.... soo i drove him over that way and we stoppeed and looked at the fireworks, got a movie (which was free) and came home. he brought down an empy cheettos bag and i asked for some and he gave me little tiny cheettos. i asked him if he ate them all, and his repsonse was "there isn't anything else to eat!" so after our movie he went upstairs and texted me "if mom wonders tell her i left at 12:40 dad is on his way love you bye" and i said "why are you leaving?" and he said "no food! i cant starve. thats why"

ha... sooooo the next day, around 1ish, i asked mom if she heard anything from colton and she said "nope" and i said "oh.. well he left in the middle of the night last night cause you didn't have any food for him to eat" she didn't even call him? or wake me up to ask where he was?

but then later that day, while i was in bed sick, she went to the grocery store, bought 67 bucks worth of food, and majority of that was suppose to go to here "veggie plate" for the family dinner that night. but she went to the hospital with me instead... ha.
i went upstairs today to eat too.. and there definetly wasn't 67 bucks worth of food in the fridge. i drank the rest of the rasberry lemonade, and she bought cranberry juice or something like that, the celery she bought is REALLY saugy now, and theres like beats or something in there? but thats the only new stuff i found..... usually, this is what our fridge looks like:



(this was taken on may 16th) and the jellys on the top shelves i brought home from work. i bought the butter and the rest is just juice... i always eat at nicoles house, and her mom LOVES to cook me food. haha but mom and i ALWAYS have arguments about the fridge. that im never home to eat, yada yada. but if there was food at the house, i'd eat it.............. she just would rather go out and eat instead of eat at home.
whatever...

i do have a crazy feeling though, that after court moms gonna bitch at me about telling my dad about all the crap she does. whats even funnier is she thinks he's talking trash on her... when in reality, he wasn't the one who told his 15 year old daughter that he never loved her mom.....

and sadly enough, out of everything my mom ever said bad about my dad, that was what REALLY stuck. "i never was in love with your dad.... i might of loved him for a little while, but i wasn't ever in love with him"

today i called my mom and let her know that i changed my appointment to get my drivers license tomorrow at 10:20 instead of the 17th, and i was like "i just changed my appointment to get it earlier. so lets get it over with!" and she said "you're telling me....... not asking me...." and i was like "uh.. sorry........... thought you'd want to get me to get it done sooner anyways?" and she said "when are you moving out?" and i was like "Uh........ why does it even matter?" and she just said "because i need to know" and i just hung up on her.




i cant stand her.

today my brother graduated from elementary school and he's always wanted his ears peirced so i had him call dad to see if it was okay, and he said yes. i took him to go get a needle and stuff to pierce it. we went with his friend kevin. and then today after we did it we went to my moms house and she just glared at colton. later today they picked up my moms sisters son who's 10 and they went to the mall just so he could get magnetic earings because "he wanted to be just like colton" so they come back and hang out. and then colton just called me BAWLING telling me how when my moms sister came and picked up her son she called colton a dirt bag and said he looked like scum. so i called my dad to see what i should do when i confront my moms sister and my dad just said "ask whats going on between her and colton" so i called angie and said "so.. colton just called me... whats going on between you guys?" and she FREAKED OUT on me and told me he looks like a dirt bag, and he's 12 and she doesn't know any 12 year old boys with their ears pierced. and she's at her sons school everyday and so i told her that not everyone is the same, and if its something colton wants to do, then let him do it. let him express himself how he wants to. my dad said it was okay! fuck you for disrspecting MY family! you're not family if you do that!" and was like "fuck you kadee! fuck you! next thing you know you'll be taking him to get distgusting tattoos all over his body blahblahbh" and then she hung up on me.

and my mom didn't back my brother up.............
one.......... bit..............


and i guess my dad called angie afterwards and she said that im the most disrespectful person she knows. and my dad came back with "well when you grow up with a mother like hers, what else do you expect?" and he hung up on her.



im done.
i need to find a new job.
and get the hell out of here.

im done with the ENTIRE sander family.
im probably going to move in with my dad next week. or as soon as i get my license... =/
i hate my life right now.
and im completely done with the whole sander family too. they are NOT my family. and never will be either. from here on out.


in this case, blood is NOT thicker than water.
and they've proven their point.

june 1st

so today i didnt talk to my mom at all, after the fight last night. so i get home from work and call my moms dad to tell him how i was feeling.
my grandma said that i didn't thank her at all for the 1000 dollars put towards a car? but i told him how i thanked her 3 different times. he said she was upset about me not sending her a thankyou card....... but i personally think me calling her and thanking her is the same thing as a written appreciation card? i told him how im afraid she's talking about me to other people the way she talked to my dad. i told him how she's trying to kick me out STILL. and i told him how the only time colton comes over, is if she takes him to angies later on that night, or if jaden and dylan come over for the whole weekend. he told me in order to get along with her, we both have to put effort forward. blabhalbh


so mom comes home, and i go upstairs to make a quessidilla and theres this paper on the counter saying like 8 things i have to do to stay at her house
-keep room clean
-vaccumm once a week
-keep bathroom clean.
lbhalbhablhbhalb
and at the end, it says "be nice :)"

uh. this made me REALLY pissed off.
she made a list for ME to do, to help her get along...................
but what is SHE going to do to get along with me?

im gonna confront her tomorrow about it.
LOL! this is going to be a fantastic fight..... yet again.

may 31st

the last week i've been taking my dog koda to the jordan river so i can teach her to swim in the deep ends by herself. i drive, even though i dont have my license cause my mom wont take me. and JUST because my brother is here this weekend (which was actually the longest amount of time he's been here in the past forever........) she freaked out and said i couldn't go.

i yell "im taking koda to the riverrr. be back later"
brother" i wanna go"
me"NO!"
brother "fine"
*walks outside, gets in car, starts car and starts to drive off*
brother runs outside "DAD SAYS YOU CANT DRIVE UNLESS ITS TO SCHOOL AND WORK"
me "i dont care. mom lets me go anyways"
*mom runs outside SCREAMING at me* "get back here you cant go. you're not allowed to go unless its to school or work"
i freaked out and told her the only reason shes saying no is because coltons here. and if he wasn't she wouldnt give a rats ass, cause she hasn't ever before..............


so i get pissed and drive over to my dads.
then a few hours later i come home and see that she took the vaccumm out of my room.....
why she was in my room? i dont know........... i didn't say i was done with the vaccumm? but she took it.
i leave again... come home...
and see that a bunch of bags that were in my room last night ,are now gone as well as the vaccumm..... so i ran upstairs and FREAKED out on her. telling her NOT to EVER touch my shit again. because ever since i was 6 years old i've told her NOT. TO. TOUCH. MY. STUFF. yet she still does it? its like she REFUSES to keep that stuck in her head. just thinking about her touching my shit makes me want to punch her! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

so then she said "get the hell out of my house then if you dont like me touching your stuff. that way i wont have to touch your stuff!"

i hate her.
i can honestly say, that i hold absolutely NO love for my mother.
how sad is that?

may 30th

mom and i got into an argument this morning.
she told me today was the day when i had to decide whether or not i was moving out. she keeps pressuring me and wont stop. i dont really understand why she keeps bugging me? if i dont move out, then she doesn't have to pay child support (so she thinks) but if i do move out, she has to pay child support?


her friend sherry sent me a graduation card that says
"Kadee, remember to follow your dreams. and be thankful for all the family in your life that have heped you along the way. never forget that your mom loves you unconditionally and has and will always be there for you. good luck with all the appartment and keep the doors locked and a bat by the door. keep moving forward in your education because you have the opportunity and should take advantage of it"
1- NONE of the family sherry knows of, has EVER been there for me. they haven't been in my life, they haven't helped me with anything but the grandparents bought a car. they called me a failure because im going to an alternative school. they always talk bad about me.
2-MY MOM DOES NOT, I REPEAT DOES NOT show that she loves me. she's NEVER there for me. and not once in the past 6 months said "i love you" to me. i dont need to hear that every day, but maybe some action shown that she loves me would be nice at least once in a while.
3- i dont need anyone else bugging me telling me to go to school. when im ready for college, i'll go. until then, STAY OFF MY BACK!

god, sherry doesn't know anything about my mom, but the lies she feeds her.

we got into another fight this afternoon.
i asked her if she wanted to go in on getting a treadmill with me, and when i move out i'll pay her what she paid for her half, and i'll take it with me. then we started fighting about how if i stay, i have to unload all my boxes in the downstairs EMPTY room that she doesn't go in? i have to keep my bedroom and bathroom SPOTLESS everyday. and clean up dog crap. i think she included her dogs crap too? but im not for sure. i got her to aggree on moving all her business boxes out of under neath the stairs cause im not unloading my boxes. she wanted me to put them in the boiler room, but that will just get hot and ruin ALL my stuff. she told me i cant have parties at her house.. when i've only had one for the past 3 years i've lived there. and i cleaned up everything... yet she still bitches cause i didn't make everything "spotless". and she said i couldn't have any friends stay over from out of town. the only person IN salt lake that i hang out with is my best friend, nicole... and all my other friends are from out of town. so when they come to visit to see ME, they'll have no where to stay. the last friends that stayed here were really clean, and cleaned up all their mess and she still says my friends are wreckless? i've had one group of guys come over who moved paintings around, and were complete jerks who lived in salt lake... but i put the paintings back, and haven't talked to them since. they didn't stay the weekend...

we also got started on how the only way she can get colton to come over is if she brings jaden and dylan over. and her response to that was "they love to come hang out here" and i said "when do they EVER come over when coltons not here? and when do you EVER hang out with colton when they aren't here?" then i told her how her driving him to school and home everyday for that 10 minutes tops was NOT spending time with him. and how she didn't tell me dad was taking her to court. haha! she wasn't going to bring it up to me....... at all. too bad i already knew about it.

may 27th

mom bought me a 3$ burrito from betos